If there’s one thing that could spark a new civil war in the United States, it would be pancakes. (How’s that for a hook?) Hardly anyone can agree on a recipe, let alone the basic ingredients, how to eat them, or even the name itself. And then along came this recipe that I’ll share in this post, and the world could enjoy peace and tranquility.

Pancakes are universal

All pancakes have the following in common: they are a bread-like creation cooked on a hot surface. That’s it. Various forms have been enjoyed around the world throughout recorded history, and I would even venture to say that their common ancestors could be akin to early pizzas or leavened bread in the Levant. Hotcakes, flapjacks, and sometimes even griddlecakes arose as other names, but the smell is just as sweet.

Americans often prefer their pancakes with fluffy butter and maple-flavored corn syrup. Some countries even add caraway seeds to the batter. Me? Just some jam. Any old jam. Maybe honey. But only when these pancakes are properly made, and there’s only one way to do that: with buttermilk.

The secret is buttermilk

Buttermilk is the residual liquid left over from butter churning. It’s a bit sour. If you’re in a pinch, you can add lemon juice to whole milk, or look it up for yourself from a knowledgeable source, like a food blog. In Tenerife, the only place I’ve seen it on sale so far is Lidl. The recipe and measurements are below, but here’s how you do it. Mix flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, baking soda, then add eggs, cooking oil, and buttermilk. Pour the batter onto a buttered pan on medium-high heat, and wait until bubbles have formed, and then flip the pancake. Keep in mind though, the first pancake is for the dog, as they say in France. No matter how well-seasoned your pan is, the first pancake will be unlike the rest.

Here’s a tip: once you’ve mixed all the ingredients for your pancake batter, let it sit for about ten minutes. If the batter seems too thick, try adding a splash of milk, and then stirring it with a fork. Personally, I don’t really care for pancakes the size of a dinner plate, so I use one full soup ladle per pancake. This recipe will make a proper stack of pancakes, more than enough for a family.

Ingredients:

2.5 cups flour

3 teaspoons baking powder

5 teaspoons sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

One-quarter cup cooking oil

2 eggs

3 cups buttermilk

Don’t cook with the metric system

I’m all for metric in every aspect of life, except for cooking. It’s not because I’m a boot-wearing cowboy cook, but because I get highly annoyed with how inconsistently people use the metric system when cooking. I’ve seen recipes that ask for two deciliters of flour, and then later an additional ten grams of flour. Or three deciliters of milk, and 30 centiliters of water. Huh? So I’m going to continue to use cups and teaspoons, because no matter how illogical this system is in cooking, it’s at least consistent. You’ll never see anyone say, “Add one cup of flour, and then another four-quarters of a cup of flour.”

The breakfast sausages available here in Tenerife are fabulous. A bit different, but fabulous. And cheap! Less than half the price, and slightly higher quality, than what’s currently available in Estonia. As I’m not one to grill inside (yes, these people exist), I fry them on a pan. As for eggs, no Western breakfast is complete without them. And I don’t actually know why. Why are eggs a breakfast food? Is it because a rooster woke our ancestors up everyday, and we’re continuing to exact revenge on the rooster’s mistresses? What do you think?

Once you’ve tried these buttermilk pancakes, you won’t go back to your old griddlecake recipe, or whatever you incorrectly call them. These pancakes will achieve global unity, so I’ll be accepting nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize via this blog, here in Tenerife.